In silence, I started to question myself
and the size of my faith yet again;
“Is it okay to feel down and cry?”
“I should rejoice in suffering, right?”
So I sang myself a sad lullaby of tears
and neverending “why’s” each night.
I saw reality knock on the door
wearing pain as its name tag.
Though I didn’t welcome it,
it forced itself to enter my home.
It blurred my sight with its presence.
My faith, it was put to a test.
The joy I tried to keep and live,
it was broken down in fragments.
The promises punctuated with periods
became replaced with question marks.
I was not okay even when I try to be.
Pain exposed its reality.
In that off guard moment, I realized,
that though unwelcome visitors try to enter my home,
I shouldn’t dare worry, panic, nor fret for too long.
I shouldn’t let them waver my soul.
Because in another reality, the truth is this:
a greater being is the owner of my home.
Things won’t always be okay.
Unwelcome visitors like pain and doubt
will make their way through my door.
Yet, something stays the same.
It’s that You will make everything
— all things — work together for my good.
Because in life’s uncertainties,
in the presence of life’s unwelcome visitors,
in my weaknesses and faithlessness,
Your faithfulness remains.
Your promises are certain.
You are and will always be good.